why have I not been doing art much lately? I should be making stuff, like really making stuff not just doodles that I know I'll never post. To be honest I am trying to figure out why exactly I have been creating things for years. what drives me. what are my new dreams? I've reached all the ones I had before college. for some reason, 'I do it because I love doing it' isn't a good enough cause to create things any more. Yet this is what I should be doing especially at this critical time. Creating things for no reason but I want to, and not caring if it happens to be good enough for a grade, or if it has some deep meaning or is just there for the sake of itself. Yet I am not. The only one grading me is me, the only one analyzing my work for purpose is me. I need to stop grading myself and just make things or do things because I can, and stop striving for standards I only give myself which I can never reach to begin with.